Romance Cafe forums

EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
FOR MONTENEGRIN GOVERNMENT POSITIONS

NAME:

____________________________________
Title First Last

Military Rank Achieved ( CHECK ONE)

Admiral ___General ___ Colonel ___ Major ____

Grandfather’s Title: Baron ____ Duke _____

Earl _____ Prince _____ Vladika ______

Relationship to Tsar Nikola I (Check One)
Cousin
Brat od Strica ___ Brat od Tetke____ Brat od Ujak___

Relative Neighbor
Rođak ____ Dalji Rođak___ Komšija _______


Pictures of Njegosh Owned
Number: _____
Dimensions: ________

Home Address in Crna Gora (Montenegro): _______________________________

Address of Property Owned in Belgrade

_________________________________

2nd Property in Belgrade

_________________________________


Job Information Section ---

Please Check Appropriate Space for Each Category

Position Applied For: ____Minister ____ Director _____ Manager _____V- President ____ Other ____

Desired Department – Resting ___ Hat Care ____ Medals and Military Decorations ______
Poetry ___ Public Holiday Planning ___ Black Market Control _____
Speech Making ____ Njegosh Preservation _____ Napping _____

Hours Available ( Per Week ) 30 ____ 20 _____ 10 _____ Less Than 10 _____

VACATION Requirements ( Per Year ) More Than 10 Weeks ____ Less Than 10 Weeks____


Personal Information Section ---

Please Check Appropriate Space for Each Category

Education : PhD ____ MASTERS ____ OTHER _________ (explain)

Work Experience : Some ____ None ____ Former Yugoslav Government Employee _____

Which sentence best describes your work philosophy?
1) I have worked some, but don’t really care for it ______
2) I have never worked but am willing to learn, within reason______
3) I have my own cigarette smuggling business, as long as this position doesn’t interfere with it, I’m OK ________
4) I have been working my entire life and enjoy the fulfillment of a “job well done”; I am up to any task assigned ( For Applicants of Mixed Marriage ) __________
5) It’s for Women Only _______


Please Rate your Application Experience - from 5 to 1 Circle the appropriate response
5 - Great – I was able to get a nap between sections.
4 - Excellent – I received a medal for completing form in less than one hour
3 - Good – I was able to take coffee breaks between sections
2 - Poor – To many questions, I got a headache
1 - Terrible – We didn’t have to do this crap under Tito, just needed a lična karta (ID)

Sign and Date Here

--------------------------------------------------------------

a hhaaa hhhaa hhhaa

nesto najbolje sto sam prochitao na forumu

well done ,sex machine

Razgovaraju srbin i crnogorac i pita crnogorac srbina:
C: Gdje ces na ljetovanje ove godine?
S: U Tursku.
C: Zasto u Tursku? - crnogorac ce pomalo uvredjeno
S: Imaju lepse more i plaze, povoljnije su im cene, a i duze
smo bili u zajednici...

Drzava Srbija ima danas 6.437.460 stanovnika.

Od toga je oko 2.200.000 penzionera.

Ostaje dakle 4.237.460 stanovnika koji moraju da obavljaju sve poslove.

Ako odbijemo 1.450.000 dece i ucenika, te oko 450.000 studenata ostaje 2.337.460.

Tu je jos 650.000 nezaposlenih, i oko 1.600.000 sluzbenika koji jedva nesto rade.

Ostaje dakle 87.460 ljudi.

70.000 ih je na sluzbi u vojsci, a 17.458 ih se nalazi u zatvorima.

Prema tome ostaju samo dva siromaha koji moraju raditi sav posao: TI i JA.

A sta ti radis? Sedis pred kompjuterom i citas Viceve ?!

Nije onda ni cudo sto sam ja jedini koji nesto radi u ovoj drzavi!

Spremaju se baba i deda za spavanje. Pita baba dedu:
• Jesi uzeo zaštitu?
• A šta će mi?
• Ne čitaš novine, pa ne znaš za salmonelu? Stvarno ne znaš kako stara jaja mogu biti opasna!

i moram jedan bljakav..ne mogu da odolim.

Dolazi Mujo mrtav pijan doma i kaže Fati: -Daj ajmo se je*ati malo!- A ona njemu:-Ma ne mogu Mujo, imam mengu.- I tako on nju nagovara i nagovori je na kraju. Sutra dan se on probudi i ničega se ne sjeća. Pogleda oko sebe i vidi krvav krevet. I kaže:-U, jebote, ubio sam Fatu!!- Ustane se i pogleda u ogledalo i kaže:-Ma šta ubio! Pojeo je!

Umrli Srbin i Hrvat, te dodu kod Sv. Petra.
"Odakle ste vi momci?", pita ih on.
"Srbija."
"Hrvatska."
"Auuuuuu... ma ne morate nista vise govoriti, vi ste nevjernici, grijesnici..., idete u pakao obojica. Samo, Balkan je malo nedefinirano podrucje, pa imate izbor, hocete li u zapadnoeuropski ili istocnoeuropski pakao?" rece Sv. Petar.
"Kakva je razlika?" pitaju oni.
"Pa u zapadnoeuropskom ujutru pojedes zlicu govana, i poslije si
slobodan, a u istocnoeuropskom isto to samo sto je hrana na kante."
"Ja sam uvijek bio zapadno orijentiran, ja cu u zapadni." - kaze Hrvat.
"Ma, ja necu na taj zapad majke im ga spalim; daj istok". - kaze Srbin.
I odu oni tako, i sretnu se poslije godinu dana.
"Pa, kako je?" - pita Srbin.
"Ma nije lose, onako, ujutru pojedes ono... Jedva se guta, nije lijepo..., al' sta ces, to ti je, sto ti je. Ma, dan i nekako, al kad pomislim sta me ujutru ceka... A kod tebe?" kaze Hrvat.
"Ma, sta da ti pricam, istocna Europa k'o istocna Europa. Nekad nema govana, nekad kasni kamion, nekad nema kanti, nekad strajkaju ovi sto dovoze... Nisam ih dosad ni probao."